Goodbyes and new beginnings (manifesto sold separately)

I’ve covered some shaky ground to this point here at How To Matter. I’ve spoken of betrayal, forgiveness, my dark side, the fragile nature of life, much more. This wasn’t my intent, not at first. But the door opened and I walked through it. And the self-discovery that resulted made that little detour worth every step.

If you’re so inclined, everything that has preceded this post still exists, and can be simply accessed by clicking on the Chapter 1 tab above. So if you’re new here, and are curious, please feel free to dig around.

For those who know me, and HTM, I’d like to thank you for reading, and for listening, and for contributing to my life in what turned out to be a very important way. But it’s time to move along now…enough about me, as they say.

A New Beginning:

Before I ever started this blog I was actually considering publishing a magazine. You remember magazines, right? Lots of pages, advertisements, wild claims, the like. Well, this magazine wasn’t going to be like that, but in this digital age, it nonetheless seemed prudent (and much more cost-effective) to start with a blog. I’d still like it to evolve into a magazine someday, something you could hold in your hands, set on your coffee table, not have to plug in. For now, though, the dot com version of How To Matter will have to suffice.

What Now?

As I said, I didn’t intend for How To Matter to be a personal blog. So what was it supposed to be? And where am I taking it going forward? Great questions…

For as long as I can recall, I’ve felt burdened by a search for significance. As a child I always expected great things for myself, for my future. But as life unfolded, and as I began to conform in all the usual ways, these expectations slowly got lost, finding their way to the surface only sporadically, and briefly.

As a father of two boys who are swiftly approaching the teenage years, I’ve gotten glimpses of those expectations more frequently. As I watch them grow and change, I find myself doing everything I can to keep that fire in them alive and thriving. To keep them expecting great things for themselves, and for their futures.

More than anything, I find myself trying frantically to help them understand that their individuality is what makes them who they are, and that regardless of what others do/say/wear/whatever, who they are is perfect. They needn’t worry about fitting any mold or being like someone else…their value has nothing to do with how others judge them.

This is not the easy road, as a parent. I know this. And it seems to get more perilous all the time, which makes it harder and harder to focus on what matters most. And while there are many reasons for this, the single factor which seems to penetrate just about every facet of life these days is our society’s overemphasis on consumerism. On the idea that a company’s value comes from its ability to make a product in the greatest possible quantities and at the lowest possible cost (consequences be damned), and a person’s value comes from his or her ability to contribute to the GDP, from the size of his or her purchase power.

Much more to be said on that, and on the advertising/marketing engine that powers that system. And we’ll get into it all, because this is the theme that will drive How To Matter forward.

But for now, for today, allow me to simply state a few of my driving ideals for HTM…

I believe that blind consumption kills the human genius, that it stifles our ideas about what is possible from a very young age by brainwashing us to believe that we aren’t good enough with who we are or what we have. Worse still, it creates a habit of not thinking at all.

I intend to encourage our young people to spend less time in front of their television and video games, and more time creating the life they want, nurturing their natural desire to make the most of themselves and, therefore, of life.

I hope to help younger readers realize that they don’t have to discover secret ferries and goblins, or explore hidden worlds to have an exciting and meaningful life (despite what pretty much every chapter book being published today suggests). Real life can give us what we want, but not by sitting idly by on the couch watching TV. Rather, that extraordinary life is attainable by actively and intentionally creating it.

Finally, I believe that nature holds the key, and only by getting out into nature and leaving behind the ‘things’ that surround us at home (toys, video games, TV, etc) can we connect with the part of ourselves that nourishes our souls and feeds our sense of adventure. And only when we stop focusing so much on consumption, and much more on production, on creation, can we find our true selves – the part of us that, in my view, gets so muddled by the institutionalization of our children, as carried out by commercial television, public education and organized religion.

Am I a perfect role model? Of course not. But as a parent I strive to improve every day. For myself, yes. For my children, of course. But also for you, for us. We need a counterbalance, a voice, an advocate…somebody to remind the world that life – real life – isn’t found on television, or in the consumer products it advertises.

Real life is found only in living fully. It requires effort. But it’s worth it.

Moving Forward:

We need to question assumptions. Period. I’m not the most fantastic student of history, but I seem to recall reading about a number of great civilizations over the years. They began. They grew. They thrived. They were at the pinnacle of human evolution at the time. And yet, they’re no more. Gone.

Why? No single reason of course. But I’d argue that a common thread runs through many of those stories, and it was this very thread that got snagged on the proverbial nail and caused it to completely unravel.

Assumptions.

See, change is often times very slow. So much so that it’s imperceptible. Just as we don’t notice the growing of our kids on a day to day basis, yet see it all at once when we look through old photos, over time, small, imperceptible changes lead to monumental shifts in thinking, in processes, in governance, in business. In everything.

But just because the change happened, doesn’t make it good, or right. It can be, sure. But not always, it’s not a given. The hardest part can be admitting the problem. Because these changes don’t start out as problems typically. They begin, rather, with good intentions, out of love, idealism, pragmatism, the like.

Spoiled or obese children are a great example. As is war. As is a society in which every imaginable need or want can be satisfied via consumption.

These changes happen slowly, but they aren’t good, or right. So do we just continue? Or do we change? Do we question our behavior, our priorities, our institutions? Rethink them? Modify them in such a way that better suits our needs. Yes, we do.

That is what HTM is here to do. Question assumptions in such a way that causes us to rethink certain things we hardly even notice, in an effort to change certain outcomes we live with everyday.

That said, this site isn’t for everybody. If you’re pleased with the state of things right now, happy with the direction we’re headed as a society, as a people, then please carry on. It’s neither my right nor my desire to suggest you’re wrong. We all have a path to travel and mine is no better than yours. Different, perhaps. Better for me, yes. But not for everyone.

However, if you feel we have some work to do, if you believe we’re capable of more, and better, then maybe you’ll find a nice spot here at How To Matter. My aim isn’t to change the world. My aim is to change my world, and help you to change yours, if you’re so inclined to take up the challenge. Together, our respective worlds transformed, I think we’ll find this life is, in fact, all it’s cracked up to be.

Oh, and I know these re-launches tend to be wrapped nicely inside a Revolution, or a Manifesto, or otherwise bold declaration. But I’ve never been much for hype, and doing what others have done isn’t real high on my list either. Instead, I’m just going to get to work in a way that I hope you can relate to, and picture yourself doing as well.

Because the best social movements are those that everyone can take part in. If it seems beyond your reach, like something you couldn’t repeat, then the intended inspiration turns into apathy or, worse, despair.

So let’s nix the hype and get on with the work at hand.

Tagged as: Evolving, New Beginnings, Rethinking Consumption, Taking a stand